Madonna’s dating Jesus?Christ!

Madonna’s dating Jesus…definitely not our lord and savior but twenty two year old model Jesus Luz.The controversial pop star famous for her eyebrow raising stunts like kissing Britney and Christina at the 2003 MTV awards and appearing on a mirrored cross at the opening of her 2006 world tour has a new man young enough to be her son a jiffy after splitting from her movie making husband Guy Ritchie.

She said she hang from the cross to bring attention to those suffering from HIV/AIDS…seriously, I’m thinking she just wanted to sell out the tour.

I know Jesus is a common South American name but for her majesty’s lover’s to have the same name as Christ’s after all her blasphemous deeds it got me thinking what a paradox…Madonna and Jesus….strange bedfellows!

BBC news site: ‘In 1990, the Pope called for a boycott of the Blond Ambition tour, in which Madonna simulated masturbation during Like A Virgin.
The video for Like A Prayer also brought condemnation from groups claiming it was blasphemous’

NeVer SAy dIe

Do Mosquitoes honor their dead? Can’t they see their fellow squito corpses allover my bed…this little suckers still keep humming an electronic-ish chorus like the barber’s clippers buzzing in soprano as they bay for my blood….the nights are long!

I tried the bug spray…the six legged vampires ‘died’ and in 20 minutes they made a comeback with a vengeance  like blood thirsty  zombies…resident evil style :’-( . If u were thinking I should try mosquito coil…yes of course, NeVEr! If  I wanted to commit suicide, I wouldn’t opt for suffocation through  self inflicted secondary smoking (I’m not a smoker in denial buddy) + that shit makes grass smoke look/smell real good… seductive even

If u were thinking the net,pal please, I had it before it was a snoozers must have nocturnal accessory.I just didn’t soak it in that repulsive lethal powder mix…wHy? Because I’ve got an African bulb nose & my olfactory senses are always on high alert…that ‘mosquito terminator detergent’ reeks even when it’s still sealed… besides, I’m not trying to be a corpses bride…I’m a dude & I love life…death  by poisoned veil (read net) is a desperate stunt that someone like Romeo’s Juliet would try… not I!

I guess I’ll have to bleed into a bowl and leave it at my bedside for those suckers as a peace offering for clapping and  slapping some of their beloveds against the wall … I just realised I can’t do that for the entire mosquito population in the bedroom,they never say die…I know when to quit and so should you. Have a sleepless night!

Shot Caller

I’m the boss, I dictate, I am…the shot caller!

Have you ever taken up something you’re passionate about?

But then you encounter so many agents of doubt,

Who put you down and loudly shout,

That no seed of prosperity will ever sprout,

From you and its best you quit and got out?

I’ve been tempted to hate such people and retaliate

But why bother…I’ll choose my fate

I call the shots, It’s my destiny, I dictate

Communication Is Key

Communication is key

Less is more doesn’t work for me

Even when we’re miles apart

Don’t let the distance keep us apart

There are limitless ways that we can connect,

Let’s work on the ties, let’s not come to neglect

That communication makes us one

And the lack of it is one plus one,

That’s two separate entities without the fusion

Take away communication, what’s left confusion?

Let’s keep up to date with what’s going on in our lives

Let not assumptions drive us to drawing knives

Communication is the remedy of a hazy existence

Communication is you and me made one through persistence

A Brand New Day

Everybody needs a little time away…that’s my sorry excuse of the hiatus. It’s good to be back and I can’t wait to share with you new material, new encounters and new experiences. Better late than never…Happy not so new 2009:-)

A Brand New Day…

The old is gone

The new has come

But I’m not throwing out what doesn’t need fixing

Just the broken

And as a token of my appreciation,

I’ll always remember that lesson

That I learnt from that experience

Get out of my life

I won’t be needing perseverance.

The night is gone,

The day has come

It’s a brand new day

And I’m letting loose of yesterday’s news

When you wanted to bask in the heat of the flames you didn’t help fan,

It was crazy fun for you never about love from me

My love is what I gave

My love is what you’ll never have again

You’ve missed the bus I’m sorry to say

Don’t make a fuss, It’s a brand new day

Some like Coffee,Some like Tea

When you’re crazy about someone,you only wish that they too are crazy about you.But if that’s not the case ,you’ve got to find a way to face the truth.Reality is not always as sweet as candy and sometimes holding onto a fantasy seems like the better option. I know life’s lessons can be brutal but face it…you are not everybody’s cup of tea.

To love a wall is a waste of time beacause as much as you give your love to that wall,it’ll never love you in return. So instead of focusing your energy on the impossible why don’t you get yourself out there and find someone who appreciates a good cup of tea

“Some people like coffee

Others like tea

If they are crazy about coffee

It’s best you set them free”

La5226

Deliver us from weevils

I’m sure you are familiar with the little black pests who love nibbling at our hard earned meal of grains…those tiny greedy things that ended up floating in our plates of githeri in hell school, remember? The present day human sized weevils’ (read MPs) attempt at eating it all and evading taxes isn’t getting any back up from the bigman.

I have never been a fan of Kibaki’s non enthusiastic leadership style, but last week I had nothing but love for the Mr.President when he made it clear that ALL Kenyans should pay taxes. Guess we don’t have to brave the clouds of tear gas now that there’s a ray of hope…have faith but don’t be fooled, Some kenyans are still more equal than others!

If you suck @ what you do…

I went to a studio to get my photos framed and I got the lazy eyed Suzanne to cater to my needs.After her eyebrow raising antiques and letting me know that most of the frames I wanted were out of stock,I was convinced that she was in the wrong line of work.

The smothering number of  her portraits all over the place explained her repulsive attitude and zombie like ways. She even started talking to another client before she was done with me,putting my patience to the test.

I didn’t snap,just studied her in her busy animal print dress and her enormous plated do, that would make Medusa’s head  of serpents look trendy. She was clearly not brought up anywhere  around here  and if she had a fashion sense,it was now as dead as a dodo.

I settled for some wooden frames and cold hearted Suzanne told me to come back in two days time.

“Two days!What about tomorrow?”

She rolled her eyes like it was impossible. Two days later I found my way back to the studio and before I could catch my breath,she hit me with her zombie speech. “We tried calling but couldn’t get you,there was a power cut at the workshop …. come back in about half an hour “. And as soon as she was done talking she disappeared to the back of the shop. My friend gave me the look like she’d noticed but Suzanne was old enough to be somebody’s mother …no drama!

An hour and a half later, a younger attendant was at the counter and when Suzanne heard me she yelled  at the young lady at the counter in her mother tongue from the back of the shop.

”I’m sorry but the fundi’s held up in traffic .You’ll have to come back in about half an hour “

I went back the day after the next and got my pieces…and NO,I didn’t commit a crime (the condition in our prisons aren’t enticing/tempting enough ).

For all the Suzannes out there with customer relation skills down the toilet,please try embroidery!Your customers are your business ,handle them carefully. And if you know you suck at what you do...quit,before somebody shoots you!

La Mujer Schweppes Novida

The coca cola company just dropped a new soft drink in a hurry and that means one thing…. Alvaro’s is to Cocaloa what Rihanna is to Beyonce…a threat! You’ve got to love Alvaro and what it represents…freshness.

It’s been forever since the softdrink giant( The coca cola company) offered anything different from their gaseous range of drinks. And look what they have for us… NOVIDA…Schweppes Novida! The name’s a tongue twister and it sounds like  a mexican soap( La Mujer De mivida/La Mujer Schweppes Novida!) The package is so like Alvaro’s and I’m thinking if these two drinks were siblingss Alvaro would have been the beauty(cinderella) and schweppes novida the uglier sister.

I have to admitt the Alvaro wannabe is smooth,sexy and sparkles in a glass just like the real thing(Alvaro). Let the soft drink wars begin!

No Taxes For Ordinary Kenyans!

After vehemently disagreeing to let a portion of their fat salaries go to the tax man,it’s crystal clear that the political class hasn’t got the nation’s best interest at heart. As our MPs hold onto their money bags and loose their souls,ordinary Kenyans struggle to meet their basic needs.Prices of commodities that mean the world to wananchi shoot up like there are invincible forces conducting an infinite chorus of turmoil.

As the representatives that we put into power forget about us… people, the people aren’t just going to let these insults play on and on. Why should the poor pay taxes while our rich MPs bail out on us? Feeling hopeless about the matter? Don’t! There’s something you can do about it on on the Jamhuri day, Stand up for what we believe in!

Follow the link…

http://kikulacho.com/2008/11/the-white-ribbon-campaign-we-must-now-demand-our-rights/